Alive and Well

Today I start my day with a different outlook. I may not yet have found my place in the world, and while this is gut wrenching and depressing (and my eyes well up with tears as I type).. I am okay. To all the people who haven't found their place in the world yet: don't let it consume you.

I look at my blog which has been left untouched for so long while I lost inspiration and hope and questioned everything, and I wish I remembered not to let it all get to me.

Life is hard.. Not knowing your place in this world makes it that much harder, but I have to believe that one day I will know what it is that I am doing or where it is that I am going.

Sometimes you just need a dream to come true to remind you that good days exist and are worth waiting and fighting for. In my case I just needed to see one of my favourite bands live and sing along to every song and remember why every single word means so much to me.

A clear reminder: I am not alone in this. I am no the only one who feels this pain, other people see what I see. We feel the same pain, we have the same struggles. Today I remember, I am Alive and Well. Thank you Rise Against for reminding me of this. For reminding me why your lyrics mean so much to me. I relate to what you have to say and why.

This world makes me forget sometimes.. This world, so unpretty.. Nay, this world is beautiful. There is just so much ugliness masking it, I will try not to let it blind me again.

I have spent too much time listening to other people tell me what's right. Confusing me. I lost myself somehow. But I don't have to conform. I don't have to change. I don't have to make sense. I don't have to make any decisions yet. People may think I am wasting my time. Wasting my life. Wasting my potential.. But people only see what they see, they don't know what is going on inside of me.

I may believe music is more important than spending money on fancier clothes. Money wasted to you. I think not. It gets me through each day. Call me crazy. I could call you crazy for choosing how to spend your time / money. You see time / energy wasted on such "trivial" things, I think not.

You may like your job. You may know where you are going. You may have goals. You may be exactly where you want to be. Consider that a blessing. Just don't be so narrow minded to think that what is right and works for you is also right for and will work for me.

I need a life with purpose. A life filled with what is important to me. Don't be so narrow minded to think that I am wasting my time. You cannot decide what my purpose should be. I may not need what you need. I may not dream what you dream. I may not even know what my true dream is yet. But I will get by.. I know I am not alone in this. And I will keep hoping and searching. And I will find my place in this world.

xo,
Lameez